Sunday, July 23, 2006

The Pet Shop Chronicles

Nowadays, I'm working at a Pet Shop, which I think is pretty cool especially since I like animals enough. With anything though, there are things to complain about, and other things I just though I would mention.

• Do I work here? No...I'm simply a customer who happens to be walking around in the store's uniform and with a store name tag on.

• We understand you love Mr. Whiskers. We love him too. But it's really not our fault that we are out of the cat food that your infernal beast demands.

I got my first complaint when some snotty woman asked me to check in the back to see if we had the cat food that her infernal beast of a cat demanded. I went back there and asked. Nope, we're out. I go back and tell her that not forgetting to mention that I'm sorry we don't have it. But that doesn't matter because, dammit, we don't have the cat food she's looking for, so she's mad mad mad!

She goes up to the front and complains to someone about how I just feigned going to the back room, that I actually just walked around the corner, waited a minute, and then told her we didn't have it because, obviously, I have something against her infernal beast.

Now as it happens, the complaint couldn't have come at a more convenient time for me because there were several people in the back who I asked. As such, I easily had three (or was it four?) witnesses who could attest to my honesty. One of my co-workers was even more indignant than I. Since the woman only complained to another employee, I didn't do anything. But if she had complained to the manager I would've wanted my three or four witnesses come to the front of the store and tell this woman that I actually did check just so that she could be given a chance to choke on her slanderous arrogance.

Though, I suppose, it's just as well that that didn't happen. When shown to be an obnoxious cow, that kind of person just gets defensive by adding more salt because it sucks to them to be shown how wrong and arrogant they are.

I have, by the way, noticed that all the people who seemed rather impatient and irrationally distressed were looking for things for their cats, and that all of them were women. I'm sorry to say that, but that's just the way it is.

The other night, a woman asked for my help in looking for a bag of dog food. We didn't have it, but she said in a sincere tone and with a smile, "thank you for your help." All of the sudden I was willing to fetch a hair from the great Chan's beard for her. Even if you, the customer, aren't rude aren't rude or anything like that, it's really so much more gratifying to acknowledge that, while you're disappointed, it isn't the employee's fault and that you're thankful that he at least tried.

• Who goes to the pet shop and pays for stuff there with fifty and one hundred dollar bills?

My co-workers are all pretty good. When I got there my first day to sign some stuff, one of the first things the wanted to know was if I could take jokes and sarcasm and if I could return it. I answered "yes" to both, and after a few days I got a few "you catch on pretty quick" after making a few quips. "Ooo...you got told by the new guy!" Amateurs...

• Tell the pretty nineteen year old that she's pretty, and she's flattered. But when you tell her, when she's half your age, that you are a psychic and that you love her beacuse you and her were married in a past life, that's not sweet let alone romantic...it's just creepy.

• The other day, a woman came in with a German Shepherd puppy. I've always liked German Shepherds since they are so intelligent, but I've never seen it in puppy form. Awwwww!